Thank You for NOT Hiring Me

We are indoctrinated to treat being declined for a job as a colossal failure. The sting of your first breakup has nothing on the sheer disappointment experienced when you get that dread email (if you’re lucky, it’s a call), informing you “your qualifications did not meet the role”. Retreating into our personal coping mechanism, which for me was always extreme frustration little salted with some anger, helps us deal with our over-dramatized fiasco. At some point in the coming days, weeks, or (hopefully not) months, we eventually move on and forget “the incident”.

Do you ever think back on all the jobs you were turned down for? Maybe you’re so awesome, you’ve never had this glorious experience. Congrats to you. Speaking to the majority, yes, of course we occasionally look back at the rejections. It’s always ironic to me how seemingly insignificant happenings in our career play out over the years. There is nearly always some correlation woven through these instances. Playing off of each other like the plot in a movie. Our declined application or rejected interview leads to the next interview, or a promotion, or even better, the realization that you are in the wrong field or pursuing the wrong life’s work for yourself.

Hence, the “thank you for not hiring me” anecdote aforementioned – seriously, thank you.   Thank you for passing on me on my 5^th job interview for the door-to-door sales job that I probably would have hated. I have appreciation, for you selecting someone with “better aligned skill sets” for your marketing analyst role, which I would have been bored with in 5 hours. Thank you. These rejections taught me to hone in on what I was searching for. I learned to dig deeper, not wider, for what I wanted to pursue in my work. I was taught that chasing a title or a paycheck, both of which grow insignificant incredibly fast, is superbly less important than finding what I want to do with 50+ hours a week of my life.

Rejection is a coachable moment, even if the coach is our own psyche or alter ego. Rejection sends us back to the drawing board to lick our wounds and assess our situation. For crying out loud, make the best of it. What extra juice can you squeeze out of the proverbial orange, in the job you’re in now? What can you glean from the team around you before that “right” opportunity arises? Do you even want to be in the job roles you’re interviewing for anyway? There is a list a mile long of questions and thoughts you can work through when you experience the breakup with a potential employer.

Treating that job that could have been as a moment of gratitude will teach you immense lessons, once you get over your coping mechanism of course. Years from now, you will realize that the rejection of that single job has played a pivotal role in where you are today, or where you will be someday. It has changed who you are, and taught you things in the process. I am grateful. So, in closing, and I do mean it, “thank you for not hiring me.” You’ve bettered me for it.